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THE CAT BURGLAR

Joyce Peterson

When she heard the little cry, Janet woke up to see two gold-colored eyes staring at her. She sat up

to look at her bedside clock. Almost 8 AM. She knew why the cat wanted her to get up. It was ½

hour past his morning feeding time.

"OK, Peaches, "she told the orange colored cat. He was a tom cat but "Peaches" seemed to fit him "Let

me get my robe and we'll get our day started." She loved animals. Peaches was her current and only

pet. The cat had learned to come in and go out the dog door on Janet's screened in back porch. There

had been dogs and cats before Peaches.

Janet was feeling her age these days. Her gray hair and slightly overweight figure didn't give her

anything to feel happy about. Her husband of thirty-five years had left her ten years ago, and since their

only child now lived a thousand miles away, Janet had found any current pet to be her sole confidant.

At the present time, that happened to be this two-year old tiger cat who seemed to return any affection

showered upon him.

"What's for breakfast, you old scoundrel?" she asked as she turned on the kitchen light. It was an

unnecessary motion because daylight had started some time ago, but she felt It helped when she read

the daily paper. She remembered she hadn't retrieved today's edition from the porch yet.

"OK, I know you want some of your favorite canned food." She confided

As she looked down, she gave out a a squeal. "What on earth have you brought me this time? It looks

like a length of pipe. Peaches," she scolded, "Someday you're going to get us arrested. How on earth

did you get over the back fence with a piece of pipe almost twice as long as you are?" She leaned down

to pick up the cat's latest gift. It only looked like a pipe but was sponge and seemed as if it might go

around a pipe. Maybe it was for insulation. "Have you been over on the next street where they're

doing that construction?" She asked as he straddled the piece, took the end of it in his mouth and took it

to the living room where she could hear the faint sound of his playing with his newest gift for her. When

he heard her put his morning breakfast plate on the floor, he came back to the kitchen. He seemed to

inhale food.

Peaches had started about six months ago to, periodically, bring her gifts that she usually found on the

kitchen floor when she came to get her breakfast. Once it was a dead tree-rat that she had gingerly

picked up with a paper towel and buried it in her garden to help fertilize the plants. However, most of

the time the cat had brought her a pool toy or something a neighbor had left on a barbeque, a glove or

cloth She had so many that she had started a pile of them on her back porch. She had told her

neighbors that, if they were missing anything, to come to take a look there. Some did, but most of the

"gifts" were still in the pile. Occasionally, the cat had taken the "gifts" directly there instead of the

kitchen. Maybe he thought they weren't good enough for her. She was afraid to throw anything away

unless a neighbor might miss a rubber duck or other pool toy, in fact anything left lying around in their

yard , and realized where it had gone, and would come to retrieve it.

Janet decided that later today she would walk around the block and tell someone about the sponge

pipe covering that Peaches had brought in this morning.

Before Janet could get her breakfast, the doorbell rang. As she went to answer it, she saw a small figure

in the glass panel.

"Good morning, Billy." She greeted her little neighbor "What can I do for you this morning?"

"Mom said I could come over to ask you if Peaches brought my rubber duck home. I was playing with it

by the pool last week but I can't find it now." He told her as he handed her the morning paper. Janet

liked the little boy. She knew he wanted a pet but his parents thought the six year old would not know

how to care for one. Janet was proud of Peaches who had figured all this out in his wise cat mind. He

often went over, when he saw the boy playing in the yard, so the boy could pet him.

"You know where the pile is on the back porch. Go have a look." When the boy left to look for his duck,

Janet made her breakfast. Cereal, juice and milk didn't take long to get on the table. As she sat down to

eat and read, Peaches decided to come in and curl up on her feet.

She almost forgot about Billy's going to find his toy. He liked to look over all the things in the pile. Janet

jumped when his little voice at her elbow asked "Could Peaches come over to play with me?"

"He had a rough night, Billy. Maybe he'll come over later if you're still out in the yard. Did you find your

duck? "

""Yes, m'am," he told her. She saw that he was clutching the toy tightly against his chest. " I 'll be

in the yard. Tell Peaches I'll wait for him. Bye, Janet." She had asked him to call her by her name.

It made her smile every time he used it. "You can see that the door is closed tight when you go,"she

warned. Billy leaned over to pet the cat. As he left, Janet heard the door bang.

She finished her meal and put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. It wasn't full enough to start.

"Maybe I'd better get dressed and walk around to that construction site on the next block. Hope they

understand." She had addressed this to Peaches who got up and followed her until he saw a sunny spot

on the living room carpet. He decided to finish his nap. "That's it, you little thief. You do the

robbery then take a nap while I have to go to apologize for you." She knew he was pretending not to

hear her.

When she was finished dressing she looked down to be sure that the comfortable shoes she was

wearing were presentable. Not too bad. Besides, at her age no one would notice anyway.

She didn't get as much exercise as she should. To her, it seemed like a mile around the block to where

they were building a new house.

By the time she got there she was glad to be able to stop for a conversation when she saw one of the

young workers coming toward her. "Young man", she called.

He ignored her and went on to pick up something that looked like the sponge pipe that Peaches had

brought home.

An older man, who looked like he might be the boss, had witnessed what happened. He came over to

her. "Sorry lady. He didn't mean to be rude but his wife just left him and he ain't responsible for the

way he acts."

"Oh, my. I'm so sorry." Janet immediately knew how the young man felt. She noticed that he seemed

to be listening in on the conversation. "I just wanted you know that I have a cat that steals things to

bring home as a present for me. This morning I found a length of something that looks like that piece

the young man is holding now. It must have come from here. I'm afraid that he chewed a couple of

pieces out of it. If he comes home with anymore, I'll try to save it for you. If you miss anything else, let

me know. I live at 320 on the next street over," she pointed to her right. " There's a pile of all kinds of

things on my back porch that someone could look through."

"Thank you, ma'am". He sounded like he was trying to make up for the younger man's rudeness.

"You're welcome and tell that young man I understand how he feels." She stopped herself from telling

him about her husband. That was old news.

When she got back home, she decided to treat herself to a lemonade but first she had to take off her

shoes.

She had just got back to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator door when she heard the doorbell 's

ring followed by a loud banging on the door. When she answered it she saw Billy's Mother, Susan,

standing there holding out a dirty work glove. Susan was a beautiful redhead who looked to be in her

early thirties.

"Janet," she said in a loud voice, "how could you?"

"Susan?" she asked as mildly as she could. "How could I what?"

"Give my son this to play with" she demanded as she shoved the glove at Janet.

As she took the glove, Janet could feel that it was heavier than she might have thought. "Why on earth

would I give Billy a dirty glove?"

"He said he got it over here." Susan sounded like the storm was blowing over. " Besides, look at the

inside."

Janet tipped the glove only to watch a sharp knife slip into her hand. "Oh,dear. I can see why you're so

upset. I'm sorry Susan. I should have gone with him when I told him to look in the pile on my back

porch to see if his rubber duck was there. This must be something that Peaches brought in and put on

the pile by himself. You remember I told you about my cat burglar's gifts out there. He's never

brought anything like this before."

She had been carefully turning the knife over on her hand.

"It looks awfully dirty." Susan observed.

"I'm afraid that's not dirt. It looks more like blood . If I weren't so tired, I'd take it down to the station

and turn it over to the police. I'll do that tomorrow." Janet was very concerned. Billy might have hurt

himself if he had tried to play with a knife.

Susan was suddenly calm. "I'm sorry I yelled at you, Janet, but you know how careful we are with Billy."

"I know and it was my fault. I won't let him go back there alone again." Janet conceded.

Susan started to leave but turned back. "I could take it to the police for you. Billy and I have to go out

shopping this afternoon."

Janet shook her head. "I'd better do it. I'll get out my old Chrysler in the morning and go down there.

They may have trouble believing a story about a cat burglar. I could invite them out to see the pile on

my back porch." she laughed.

"Good Luck," Susan said as she left.

Janet decided she had better check the pile of "gifts," but there was nothing that looked remotely lethal

when she pulled it apart. "Oh well," she thought, "I'd better try to get rid of some of it." She had put

the glove with the knife in it into a plastic bag before putting it in a kitchen drawer. She thought the first

to go would be the knife. Maybe she should take it to the police today. She shook her head. The long

walk had tired her too much to think about it. Tomorrow would do.

She went back to the kitchen and pulled out the drawer that held the stolen knife in a glove. Something

seemed to pick at her memory. She tried to think of what it was but the weariness took over. Maybe it

would come to her in the morning after a good night's aleep.

The rest of her day was spent in doing all the little daily things she had to do to keep the house in order.

Things that didn't take any planning or hard work, like doing the dishes, folding the laundry and putting

it away, sweeping the front porch, watering the plants she had there. She decided that a frozen dinner

would be just the thing today. By evening she was ready to sit down and watch her favorite TV shows.

At 10 o"clock she decided to forgo the late news and go to bed.

"OK, Peaches, let's call it a night." Peaches always spent the night in her room but tonight he wouldn't

follow her. " Too early, huh? I understand, you burglar you. But please, don't bring me any more

surprises like a knife in a glove. Behave yourself and I'll see you in the morning."

She fell asleep reminding herself that she had to go to the police station tomorrow. It was a habit she

had known for many years, plan for tomorrow the night before.

She was sleeping soundly and the bed felt so comfortable that she tried to sleep through the noise she

could hear coming from the back porch. It was probably Peaches trying to drag something too big

through the cat door.

Then she heard the cat's "Meow". It sounded like it was coming from out side. Over the cat's cry,

she could still hear the banging and what sounded like a man cursing. She felt a sudden chill as she

pulled the covers over her head.

She knew she should call the police but was afraid she was imagining things. Besides, just thinking of

reaching for her bedside phone was enough to start her trembling. However, when she

definitely heard someone yell," Get off of me you damn cat," she grabbed her phone and managed to

dial the operator. When the operator answered, Janet lost any cool she had remaining. "Help! Send

the police!!'

One moment,ma'am, I'll connect you."

"I don't want to be connected. I want the police." Janet shouted, but the police station answered

before she finished.

"…. …may I help you?"

Janet realized she had the right place. "Thank God Someone is trying to get in in my cat door. Send

the police." She thought she heard a smothered laugh..

"I'll need you address, ma'am"

"Oh, yes. Of course." Janet felt stupidity had taken over her brain as she had trouble giving tham her

address. She finally got it out.

It seemed like ages but finally,the police car came with its siren blaring. The man breaking in surely

heard it and would be long gone before the officers got there. Either way, she would be rid of him.

However, as she went to the front door to let them in she could still hear her unwelcome visitor

swearing at the cat in a voice loud enough to wake up the neighborhood.

She opened the front door before the two uniformed men reached the porch."This way officers. I think

he's still here. This way." She led them through the house to the back porch. She opened the door so

they could go in first.

When she heard the two men start laughing, she followed them in. There, stuck tight in the cat door

was the young workman who had ignored her yesterday, when she had gone to tell the men working on

the new house about the cat. As he got part of his body through the pet door, the plastic flat sheet that

he had lifted so part of his body could get in, had fallen down in back of his head. He had found that his

bulky frame could neither go in nor back out. Sitting on top of the outside part of the young man was

Peaches.

He had just been trying to get into the house but found his door all filled up with a human.

Janet went outside and brought the cat in with her.

One of the policemen laughed. "Well I've heard of a cat burglar but I never heard of a cat catching a

burglar," he said. "And what on earth were you doing trying to get in here.? All I can see is a pile of junk

in the corner."

Janet's mind kicked in. Of course, that's it, she thought. She touched the officer's arm. "Sir,I have to

admit my cat is a burglar, too. Those are all the things he steals and brings home. My neighbors all

know about him. Wait here," she told him. She went to the kitchen and retrieved the glove with the

knife. "I think this is what he was after but my little neighbor found it first and got me into trouble with

his mother." She handed the glove to the officer.

"A dirty glove?" he asked.

Janet smiled, "Look inside, officer. Then you might ask this young man to tell you about his wife. It

seems he's been saying that she left him.

The two officers managed to pull the victim through the door. As they marched him threw the house ,

Janet asked the Officers their names. "I really would like to know what he has to say for himself. Maybe

one of you could tell me if I call tomorrow."

One of the men answered, "I'm Officer Maloney, ma'am. I'll give you a call when we find out what this

is all about, if that's all right."

Janet smiled, "I'd appreciate that."

The next few days, Janet hoped that each phone call would be from the officer but it was a week later

when Maloney called.

"You were right, ma'am. The knife had his wife's blood on it. He said he had put the knife in one of his

work gloves and came out at nite to bury it in the ground beneath the house they're building. He laid it

down while he was digging the whole and when he went back for it, it was gone. He heard you telling

his foreman about the cat so he figured out what had happened. That's some cat you have there. He

deserves some kind of a reward."

Janet laughed, "I'll give him regular tuna tonight instead of his canned food,"she promised.

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